


My Tears Ricochet

by PhenomenalBrat



Category: Happiest Season (2020)
Genre: Advice, Angst, Break Up, F/F, Phone Calls & Telephones, Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27784711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhenomenalBrat/pseuds/PhenomenalBrat
Summary: Harper doesn't make it to the gas station in time to catch up with Abby. Abby leaves a heart breaking note for Harper and Riley provides Harper with some cathartic advice in the wake of Harper's heart break over Abby.
Relationships: Harper Caldwell/Abby Holland
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	My Tears Ricochet

My Tears Ricochet 

(Happiest Season)

Author's notes: Harper doesn't make it to the gas station in time to catch up to Abby. The burning heartbreak settles between then leaving a hole in the Christmas celebration that Harper can not shake. Abby sends a goodbye note that starkly puts everything into perspective and we examine the pain with which she made her decision. 

By: PhenomenalBrat 

_ We gather here _

_ We line up weeping in a sunlit room _

_ And if I'm on fire,  _

_ You'll be made of ashes, too _

  
  


**Abby**

Abby stared down at her phone as the car pulled away from the gas station, speeding down the road. She felt so stupid. Half of her was still praying in some desperate way that Harper was going to call or say something or give her a sign. Maybe this was a sign though. Maybe the Harper she knew wasn't-wasnt Harper at all. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she never noticed a red car rushing past them on the other side of the road, headed towards the gas station at speeds that were practically illegal. 

"Hey. You gonna be okay?" John's question was spoken quietly as though he was afraid to disturb Abby's thoughts. 

"No."

Nothing was okay. 5 days ago she was ready to get married and be in love and build a life with Harper. Now she just felt like there was a hole in her chest; a giant gaping wound where her heart should be and she didn't know how to begin to fill it as tears burned in her eyes.

_ Even on my worse day _

_ Did I deserve, babe _

_ All the hell you gave me? _

_ Cause I loved you _

_ I swear I loved you _

_ Till my dying day _

"Abby-maybe, maybe-"

"It's not about that. I- I know why she lied. It's-I can't be- I love her John but she- she doesn't want, I don't know- "

"It's okay. I understand." John sped up the car taking them futher down the road and away from this one horse town.

Part of her couldn't help but wonder what Harper was doing right that second. There was no way to fix things now. She put her phone on silent and laid back to rest as tear silently rolled down her face.

**. . . .**

**Harper**

Harper could feel the scream of anguish rising in her throat as she stepped out of the gas station. The words of the clerk at the Gas station echoed in her ears. " _ You just missed them."  _ Her chest hurt. She looked around. 

It wasn't even a stretch to say that she realized how much she had screwed everything up. Her own mind was already doing a great job of dragging her.  _ Abby Please. _ She dialed Abby's number and desperately waited for a response; a chance to make things better. After a few attempts it became clear though that that wasn't going to happen. 

She dragged herself back to her car with the cold of the December night air nipping at her skin. Maybe it was habit or just a crazy idea but she found herself dialing a number she hadn't called in years as she sat dejectedly in the car feeling like there was a hole in her chest. Having felt it now, she couldn't say she would blame Riley if she didn't answer though. 

_ I didn't have it in myself to go with Grace _

_ And you're the hero flying around saving face _

_ And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake _

_ Cursing my name _

_ Wishing I stayed _

_ Look at how my tears ricochet  _

After 3 or 4 rings Riley finally answered. "Hello." Her voice held no hint of surprise. "Harper. "

"I'm-I'm sorry. You're probably sleeping. "

"If I was sleeping I would not have answered." Riley explained neutrally. " What's going on?"

"Abby's gone." Saying the words out loud hurt more than thinking them. "I-I've screwed up everything so badly. This is all my fault. I'm so stupid. I don't-"

Riley was quiet as Harper ranted for a moment. "Harper. Harper!" Riley finally interrupted. "Stop. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is."

"It-okay it is partly. But it's also your family and this Towns' fault okay." Riley explained it like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "It always has been. " She explained quietly then giving voice to the painful past that still lingered between the two of them.

Harper thought about it for a moment. "That was my fault too."

"Harper. You don't-"

"I never got to tell you how- I never said sorry for that. I-And now I'm never gonna get to say that to Abby either."

"You're doing it now."

"A little late."

"There is no time table for growth, Harper. Everyone's story is different. "

"I'm sorry I made your story so hard."

There was still so much to be said that could never fit into one phone call. They let the subject of the past petter out.

"You could go after her." Riley suggested.

"She doesn't want me. Maybe- maybe this is a sign. "

"Are you okay? Seriously do you need-"

"No. No. I'm- I'll be okay."

"Harper."

"Eventually. I'll-" Harper could hear the dispare in her own voice and she was sure Riley could too. She swallowed as best she could. " Thanks Ri." If not for the bleak adultness of the conversation, she would almost say it felt like how they used to talk for hours in high-school. 

**. . . .**

**(2 days later)-Abby**

Abby folded the note, leaving it on the dining room table along with the ring. She had bought it for Harper and some part of her still wanted Harper to have it; to know that she had loved her, even if it simply wasn't enough. The duffle bag of her clothes sat by the door but she hadn't moved to leave quite yet. She still was holding on to this belief that Harper would show up and things would be okay. This had passed the door or repair though. Unshed tears sparkled in her eyes before she finally made the move, heading towards the door to grab her bag.

_ We gather stones _

_ Never knowing what they'll mean _

_ Some to throw _

_ Some to make a diamond ring  _

_ You know I didn't want to _

_ Have to haunt you _

_ But what a ghostly scene _

_ You wear the same jewels _

_ That I gave you _

_ As you bury me _

"Did you get everything?" John asked as Abby tossed her bag into the car.

Abby looked back, feeling torn and lacerated by what she was doing. John had this knack for reading her moods.

"I-"

"Abby? Are you sure about this?"

"No. I haven't been sure about anything. "

"Do you wanna-"

"No. She decided as she slid into the passenger seat of the car.

John pulled away slowly. 

**. . . .**

**(2 hours later) -Harper**

Harper finished reading the note as she clutched the ring box in her hand. The apartment felt quiet and empty. There was a hollowness like all the like all the life had been sucked out. The last line of Abby's note was still playing through Harper's mind like some death knell at funeral March.  _ "...and it's not that I don't love you, cause I know in some way I always will, but I'm hurting and I had to choose me this time. I only want the best for you. Love Abby." _ She could practically hear Abby's voice saying those words. It made perfect sense. She understood and that just made it all the more painful. 

The ring was gorgeous. The fact that Abby had wanted to be with her forever and that was all gone...The tears that slid down her face hit the table and to her angst clouded mind the small noise echoed and ricocheted around the quiet emptiness of their- no her apartment. 

_ You turned into your worst fears _

_ And your tossing out blame _

_ Drunk on this pain  _

_ Crossing out the good years _

_ And your cursing my name _

_ Wishing I stayed _

_ Look at how my tears ricochet  _

  
  


**FIN**

Thank you for reading. Please leave complaints, questions or kudos below. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
